In Memory of Irene C. (Murphy) Gilles

Obituary

Irene C. (Murphy) Gilles, 97, beloved wife and mother, died April 25, 2025 in Utica at her home of 65 years. Born on July 31,1927 in Newport, RI to Irene and Louis Murphy, Rena had an extremely happy childhood in the city’s Fifth Ward, an Irish-American neighborhood where every block held a relative. She never outgrew her love for the City by the Sea and returned for a visit almost every summer of her life.

A graduate of St. Catherine’s Academy in Newport, she received a degree in Sociology from the College of New Rochelle in 1948. Trained as a classical pianist, Rena had the opportunity while in college to study for a year with Tommy Taylor, whose lovely arrangements of show tunes and popular songs, played and sung with her inimitable sparkle, were to delight her family and friends for decades. After several years of social work in Newport, including as a probation officer for women, Rena met a handsome, charming US Naval officer stationed at Quonset Point, RI. On September 19, 1953, she and Stephen A. Gilles were married at St. Augustin’s Church in Newport, a most felicitous union that was to bring forth seven children and to flourish for 63 years, until Steve’s death in 2016.

The home that Rena and Steve created for their family reflected their values. Their Catholic faith, honesty, loyalty, love of country, sense of civic duty, and overflowing charity were the foundation stones. But the laughter, music, literature, beauty, and joy that filled the rooms flowed in no small measure from Rena’s inexhaustible sense of humor (a wellspring that never ran dry, even in the deepest suffering), her innate love of poetry and language, her profoundly maternal heart – big enough always to accommodate anyone in need – and her extraordinary interest in every human being she ever encountered. People, their strengths and their foibles, were a source of lifelong fascination for her; Rena never met a faceless individual. A great cook and gracious hostess, she, along with Steve, opened their home for decades to friends, foreign exchange students, and a large cast of characters ranging from their children’s sometimes questionable pals to dear souls from the ARC. Somehow, she found time vividly to chronicle news of her extended family in weekly letters composed on her old-fashioned, finger-powered typewriter. In an era before Swiffers and easy-care fabrics, Rena cleaned the baseboards with Q-tips, starched and ironed her children's school clothes, and white-washed their saddle shoes, all while wearing nylons and two-inch heels. Ever faithful to her mother's admonition to “always look your best,” she met death with lipstick and earrings in place.

Rena was active as a volunteer in many local organizations, including Our Lady of Lourdes School, the Christ Child Society, Birthright, the Board of the Visiting Nurses Association, and the Board of the Utica Public Library. She was a member of the Catholic Women’s Club for decades and served as its president. She also belonged to the Women of Rotary, Munson, Debonairs, and the Fort Schuyler Club.

Rena is survived by a son, Stephen G. Gilles (Laurie Feldman), and five daughters, Mary (Dan) Atwood, Irene (Bob) Bowers, Martha (Brian) Boyle, Joanne (David Hermann), and Trudy (Nick) Sheldon; her daughter-in-law Jennene Mildenhall Gilles; her sisters-in-law Alice, Christine, and Susan Murphy; twenty-eight grandchildren; thirty-seven great grandchildren, and many precious nieces and nephews. She was predeceased by her husband, Steve; her son, Timothy J. Gilles; her brothers, Thomas, Louis, Leonard, and Robert Murphy; and her sisters-in-law, Mary Gilles and Bette Murphy. She also leaves many life-long, cherished friends.

The family wishes to extend its heartfelt gratitude to Shelly DelMonte, Dr. Bhisham Garg, and the aides who took such wonderful care of Mom: her head caregiver Estela, Jill, Julia, and Yvette.

Visiting hours will be Wednesday, May 7 from 4 - 6 pm at Friedel, Williams & Edmunds Funeral and Cremation Services, 13 Oxford Road, New Hartford. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated on Thursday, May 8 at 10 am at St. John the Evangelist Church, 66 Oxford Road, New Hartford. Interment immediately following at Calvary Cemetery.

The family asks that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to Food for the Poor, Attention: Champions, 6401 Lyons Road, Coconut Creek, FL 979005 or online at https://champions.foodforthepoor.org/IreneGilles.

For online expressions of sympathy go to fwefh.com.